Posts Tagged ‘lectures’

The STUDENT Years pt 2

May 7, 2010

More exclusive extracts from:


Dedicated to Darwin, Einstein and my future self.


Once more I am appalled at the ignorance of the teaching staff here at the University. I had come here in the hope that I might actually ‘learn’ something, but it is clear I am going to have to take matters into my own hands. I have taken to organising an after class ‘real’ science lecture – but so far there seem to be few takers. Well, if we were to be matter of fact about it – no takers. Still I don’t see this as a deterrent. If anything it is giving me a chance to practice my oratory skills in a larger venue than my meagre student dwellings, of which the other student I share a room with seems little keen on, especially when I deliver impromptu early morning lectures.

I still seem to be struggling with finding a social group to form relations with – this isn’t to say there isn’t a scientific society. There is a very fine and respected one, but my one and only attendance to said group lead to heated debate. The enquiry is still ongoing about quite how it escalated to three dismissals, five suspensions, a fire and one fatality…


And then when all seemed lost, in SHE walked…

I had just about given up on my post lesson personal lectures, when this afternoon I saw the loveliest specimen of the female form enter the theatre and ask if she was still in time or had the lecture finished?

I was enchanted.

So much so that while clearly there was no lecture or audience I proceeded to invite her to sit while I continued to talk about the digestive tract and bowel movements of the common household hamster for a further three hours.


I really don’t have TIME for this….

September 13, 2009


As a scientist I am not the kind to become stressed. I can always apply my superior brain to the problem at hand, be it in the workplace or the bed, and deal with the matter quickly and efficiently.

However my time remains very precious. There are any number of commitments that I have to honour in any given week – be they lectures, experiments, writing this blog, personal appearances or bingo nights.

And well quite frankly it is all begining to get a bit too much – there simply isn’t the time available to me to achieve all I wish, and my attempt to try and combine my biology lectures with the bingo have proved disastrous.

I am beginning to suffer what I have diagonsed as the first signs of stress on my body – an occasional flutter of my left ear lobe. With all of this in mind many colleagues have suggested that I should lighten my workload. Not accept every offer that comes my way.

This of course might be what the sensible person would do. But let us not forget I am a scientist. And if I don’t have enough time – then I’ll make some more.

Now devoting my ‘time’ to yet another seemingly fruitless task when I already have so preciously little – might to many seem  somewhat counter-productive – and I admit that I hadn’t really given it much thought, but it hasn’t stopped me before.

I have spent the last twenty four hours studying how we humans measure and draw time. The most obvious place to start of course is with the man who invented time, Sir Martin Marion Hilary….

The Science of Sleep – Day 2

April 14, 2009


All this week, Professor Charles Human is going without sleep to measure and observe the effects on the Human body. I am (er….) I mean he is recording the results on a day-to-day basis here in my his blog.


This morning I passed the 24hr mark in my quest to go an entire week without sleep. I am feeling no adverse side effects. In fact increasingly, I have to wonder, with all of the work I have managed to achieve since I started, why I ever bothered sleeping at all.

My motor skills are still sharp, and my mind focused. I have spent the majority of this morning being observed by some of my students going about basic tasks – I invited them into the Human residence (my home) as I went about my day, to see first hand what a man who had been awake for 24hrs looks like. I can’t pretend that my daily routine is one of a normal everyday citizen, and some of my students may indeed have been a little taken aback by some of my more obvious ‘idiosyncrasies’ – I haven’t bathed without help since I was a small child, and I am certainly not about to start.

 Still, the field trip was a success, and I anticipate the results to make some fascinating reading when I correlate all of my data together. As the midnight hour approaches, and I look to my watch, I am drawing towards the 36hr mark. I find myself frustrated that the rest of the country doesn’t work to a 24hr clock as well and so have called an impromtu lecture for all of my students for 0300 this morning.