Posts Tagged ‘Iceland’

I’m still here. If just not in the AIR!

April 19, 2010


I understand your concern. I have been offline and it has been some three weeks now since my last post. And in a time of crisis such as this, who would I ask are you most likely to turn to? A government dissolved so they can beat a campaign trail in search of your vote, gurning occasionally from your TV screen. The very sight of David Cameron on last weeks first televisual debate, where the topic of science I noted was not bought up once – and they want my vote – was enough to make me smash my TV to pieces. Bag it up,  take the car, and dispose of its electrical remains over a bridge, to the bottom of a watery grave.

But in this dark hour, with the Earth its very self turning against us, who of course do they all turn to for an answer. It’s not an amateur like Brian Cox I’ll tell you that much. So it may come as little surprise to you, that my absence from this regular posting board has been because my presence has been required abroad – at the very heart of our current ecological and geological phenomenon, affecting so much of the country.

Indeed I have spent the last three weeks in Ecuador, studying a large ant migration in the Amazon basin and whether inducing some with small dosages of alcohol, will in any way affect or limit their progress. I am sure your in agreement how you might see that research such as this has incalculable value to human understanding of our planet.

In fact it has cost me quite a few tax payers pounds to ensure that I can keep planes illegally in the sky to import more alcohol from the UK out to me here in South America. What with that volcano thing happening over in Iceland it is costing me a fortune in bribes!

Still science marches on…

The Science of Sleep – Day 6?!

April 18, 2009

sleep-learning

All this week, Professor Charles Human is going without sleep to measure and observe the effects on the Human body. I am (er….) I mean he is recording the results on a day-to-day basis here in my his blog.

DAY 6

THE FINAL ANALYSIS

I find myself refreshed this morning and suffering no adverse side affects.  

There are some holes in my data (which I am actually having difficulty placing at the moment – I can’t think where it’s gone). I am missing the last 24 hours completely and have no memory of where I was or what I was doing – frustrating only in that I wonder what sleep deprivation experiment led me to where I am now.

I also appear to be carrying about someone else’s wallet, and my passport, whilst still carrying my photo – is now under the name Stephanie Quatermass.

So ultimately have I learnt anything about the affect of sleep or lack thereof on the Human body?

 I am still not entirely convinced that sleep actually serves any purpose – much like any trend I suspect future generations will laugh at the way we used to ‘close our eyes and not move for extended periods of time’ – wasting away tens, if not hundreds, of hours doing ‘nothing’.

I for one mark the experiement inconclusive pending further tests, and plan to take it next to the classroom. All students at the Human Institute, are now to be lectured 24hrs a day, and I expect the efficency in turning over newly qualified scientists to increase expotenially.

In the meantime if someone is able to provide me with transport or indeed airfare back to the United Kingdom that would be greatly appreciated. I can be found at the Sigtun cafe, Hofos in the Skagafjardharsysla region of Iceland. I am the man in the Smurf costume.