Posts Tagged ‘Einstein’

The STUDENT Years pt 2

May 7, 2010

More exclusive extracts from:

THE DIARY JOURNAL OF ACADEMIC STUDENT CHARLES HUMAN

Dedicated to Darwin, Einstein and my future self.

THURS 15th NOVEMBER

Once more I am appalled at the ignorance of the teaching staff here at the University. I had come here in the hope that I might actually ‘learn’ something, but it is clear I am going to have to take matters into my own hands. I have taken to organising an after class ‘real’ science lecture – but so far there seem to be few takers. Well, if we were to be matter of fact about it – no takers. Still I don’t see this as a deterrent. If anything it is giving me a chance to practice my oratory skills in a larger venue than my meagre student dwellings, of which the other student I share a room with seems little keen on, especially when I deliver impromptu early morning lectures.

I still seem to be struggling with finding a social group to form relations with – this isn’t to say there isn’t a scientific society. There is a very fine and respected one, but my one and only attendance to said group lead to heated debate. The enquiry is still ongoing about quite how it escalated to three dismissals, five suspensions, a fire and one fatality…

MON 19th NOVEMBER

And then when all seemed lost, in SHE walked…

I had just about given up on my post lesson personal lectures, when this afternoon I saw the loveliest specimen of the female form enter the theatre and ask if she was still in time or had the lecture finished?

I was enchanted.

So much so that while clearly there was no lecture or audience I proceeded to invite her to sit while I continued to talk about the digestive tract and bowel movements of the common household hamster for a further three hours.

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August 14th 2009 – Happy 2nd ‘Blog’day!

August 14, 2009

Happy%202nd%20Birthday!

When Alan Turing first sat down and invented what would become the modern computer he might well have dreamed that eventually programmers would devise a vast social network – call it the World Wide Web – and create an unparallelled source of information and pornography.  

And that emerging from this remarkable tool would be one man.

One HUman. 

A great Scientist. A great thinker. A great lover. A man to join that illustrious lineage that began with the Greek Archimedes sitting in his bath. Saw Da Vinci write his bestselling code. Mocked Newton daydreaming under an apple tree. Laughed at Darwin looking a little green as he leans over the side of the HMS Beagle. Cock blocked Einstein making a pass at Marylin Monroe. Was frightened by David Bellamy using his scary shape shifting abilities to explore the bottom of his garden pond.

All to this point now – and my sharing with you the vast intricacies of my mind made word  for an astonishing 2nd YEAR!

What have we learned along the way?

Well…

You can’t trust a clone. The Corrs might be able to write a good tune but they need a scientist to help them with their lyrics. 10% of students can still successfully complete an experiment whilst locked in a laboratory with a wild wolverine. The Sigtun cafe in Hofos, Iceland does a good Hot Chocolate. I really must pay closer attention to when anniversaries are likely to clash. Never trust an organ grinder’s monkey. I made up the big bang theory with Stephen Hawking for a lark. The Squirrels are organising. My computer is usually located on a desk by a window I’m just not entirely sure which one. I hate badgers.

They may have tried to silence me, they may have pretended I don’t exist. This blog may indeed only have 3 or 4 regular readers. But I toast to you this momentous…moment in Science and computing. There will be a series of celebratory activities taking place all weekend at the Human Institute to mark the occasion and then I am done…

What’s in a number…

August 10, 2009

aerial_photo_statehood_50th_anniversary_070408

  When Alan Turing first sat down and invented what would become the modern computer he might well have dreamed that eventually programmers would devise a vast social network – call it the World Wide Web – and create an unparallelled source of information and pornography.  

And that emerging from this remarkable tool would be one man.

One HUman. 

A great Scientist. A great thinker. A great lover. A man to join that illustrious lineage that began with the Greek Archimedes sitting in his bath. Saw Da Vinci write his bestselling code. Mocked Newton daydreaming under an apple tree. Laughed at Darwin looking a little green as he leans over the side of the HMS Beagle. Cock blocked Einstein making a pass at Marylin Monroe. Was frightened by David Bellamy using his scary shape shifting abilities to explore the bottom of his garden pond.

All to this point now – and my sharing with you the vast intricacies of my mind made word  for an astonishing 50th blog!

What have we learned along the way?

Well…

You can’t trust a clone. The Corrs might be able to write a good tune but they need a scientist to help them with their lyrics. 10% of students can still successfully complete an experiment whilst locked in a laboratory with a wild wolverine. The Sigtun cafe in Hofos, Iceland does a good Hot Chocolate. Never trust an organ grinder’s monkey. I made up the big bang theory with Stephen Hawking for a lark. The Squirrels are organising. My computer is usually located on a desk by a window I’m just not entirely sure which one. I hate badgers.

They may have tried to silence me, they may have pretended I don’t exist. This blog may indeed only have 3 or 4 regular readers. But I toast to you this momentous…moment in Science and computing. There will be a series of celebratory activities taking place all week at the Human Institute to mark the occasion and I  look forward the next opportunity to laud my magnificence.