Posts Tagged ‘bowel movements’

The STUDENT Years pt 2

May 7, 2010

More exclusive extracts from:

THE DIARY JOURNAL OF ACADEMIC STUDENT CHARLES HUMAN

Dedicated to Darwin, Einstein and my future self.

THURS 15th NOVEMBER

Once more I am appalled at the ignorance of the teaching staff here at the University. I had come here in the hope that I might actually ‘learn’ something, but it is clear I am going to have to take matters into my own hands. I have taken to organising an after class ‘real’ science lecture – but so far there seem to be few takers. Well, if we were to be matter of fact about it – no takers. Still I don’t see this as a deterrent. If anything it is giving me a chance to practice my oratory skills in a larger venue than my meagre student dwellings, of which the other student I share a room with seems little keen on, especially when I deliver impromptu early morning lectures.

I still seem to be struggling with finding a social group to form relations with – this isn’t to say there isn’t a scientific society. There is a very fine and respected one, but my one and only attendance to said group lead to heated debate. The enquiry is still ongoing about quite how it escalated to three dismissals, five suspensions, a fire and one fatality…

MON 19th NOVEMBER

And then when all seemed lost, in SHE walked…

I had just about given up on my post lesson personal lectures, when this afternoon I saw the loveliest specimen of the female form enter the theatre and ask if she was still in time or had the lecture finished?

I was enchanted.

So much so that while clearly there was no lecture or audience I proceeded to invite her to sit while I continued to talk about the digestive tract and bowel movements of the common household hamster for a further three hours.

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