Christmas Fallout & The Year in Review – How was 2009?

Well all I can say is I’m glad that’s over! So once more another Christmas passes us by. Not only can I barely stomach the idea of celebrating the birth of a fat man in a red suit who delivers ‘presents’ around the world, the general over consumption I detailed in my last blog entry has little abated over this past week. And to make matters worse invariably we are forced to spend this time with family.

My father doesn’t believe in Christmas (fine you might think – there being something we do have in common) however over the years my father has also stopped believing in the metric system, tomatoes and black people. My mother’s idea of a festive dinner tends to consist of a power shake and back into the garage for the afternoon to continue pumping iron, it makes me shudder to think how strong that woman is, even at her advanced years.

So Christmas was once more spent with my idiot half brother, someone I may have neglected to mention in blog’s of the past – and well for good reason. The product of a messy fling that bears little thinking between my father and our gardener, Graham and I have never seen eye to eye – partly because he is only six years old and I stand some feet taller than him. However his tantrums and constant demands to be the centre of attention I find particularly grating. I find it almost impossible to comprehend how someone as stupid as he, with his limited scientific knowledge (I think he may have ‘heard’ of Newton) can possibly be sourced from one half of the same gene pool as me. Well let me assure you, round the family dinner table I can be just as loud as he can, if not louder!

Still I digress, happy to find myself back in the comforts of the Human Institute and sitting here typing the final blog entry on the keys of my newly acquired Macbook. (Are you reading this Bill Gates? Your ‘updates’ are a thing of the past – I AM FREE!)

So with drink in hand I sit here and contemplate the past year. What have been my main achievements? What have I learnt? what have I taught you my dear reader? Well, I have fulfilled my vow to post one blog per week here on the site, and in the process boost the awareness and circulation of this humble little site. In this new information age where the criticism could be levelled that any idiot now can get their voice heard and read on one of millions of personal websites, as a Professor of Science and Humans – I am glad to be the one sensible head craning itself above the moronic horde.

Why this year alone I have experimented in sleep deprivation, final results still pending once I can actually find what I did with them over that week.


I have championed Sir Martin Marion Hilary, the oft forgotten inventor of time.


And finally given up on this whole cloning business – far much more trouble than it’s worth.


And while we’re at it time travel too.


So what does the New Year hold in store? Well I am looking forward to taking part in my first space flight, and finally finishing my matter transporter (I did give it a test run earlier this year when I tried to transport a common house fly but failed to notice a human being had accidentally climb aboard too – I shan’t go into what came out the other end).  It’s about time too I took a visit to the Large Hadron Collider in Cern to see what all the hold up’s are about. And as ever here at the institute it will undoubtedly be the usual mix of lecture, experiments and occasional discos.

So I bid you farewell people of the year 2009 – and hello to you people of the year 2010 – hold on tight here comes Charles!


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