Who called it the Noughties anyway?

As we reach the years end – I notice a trend for many publications to not only be looking back on events of the last twelve months – but the past decade as a whole. What has it meant for you? What has it meant for me? And who in all seriousness ever referred to it as the Noughties? As we enter the next decade, must we refer to it as the ‘Teens’? Comparatively speaking are we likening the next ten years to that of a sullen, hormonal young hooligan who would stab you sooner than look at you from under his ‘hoodie’ were he able to actually extricate himself from his home entertainment games console for more than 7 minutes at a time. I thought not.

 I am however – whilst always resolutely individual, also not adverse to jumping on the occasional passing band wagon, particularly if it boosts the old stats before the year is out. So what might be the defining historical moments that have shaped the world in the last ten years. In the world of science we have seen the rise of the celebrity, although it is frankly embarrassing how the likes of Winston and Dawkins have prostituted themselves for the media and adulation of millions, passing off their trite theories and preposterous notions of science – hacks who leave us real scientists to mop up the detritus of their awful waffling here on minority read blog pages hidden away in the furthest corners of the internet.

I may have my censors, I may have enemies, I may be a figment of some others imagination, but if anything these last ten years have taught me – despite my brief flirtation with possible fame and fortune back in 2005 when I met an agent – only to be told that there were already ‘other’ scientists, is that it is time for me to get more vocal – to take the next decade by the stethoscope and drag it into the 21st century. Science has a name – its name is Professor Charles Human. You have been warned. (If you were already aware then take this more as a gentle caution).


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