The Adventures of Grandmaster Human and the Wheels of Steel!


It may come as something of a surprise for you to learn that I am not always all about ‘the science’.

Now don’t get me wrong – I recognise just how important it is the work I do. Both in helping, not only further understand ourselves but also, that person standing over there. However I should put emphasis on just how important it is to be able to relax and enjoy some down time too.

 When I first started out on the path toward scientific greatness, I was all about the work. I worked every hour there was – and well also some there weren’t. And my hard graft has certainly been key in some part, to my success, and my being able to build the Human Institute. But for those first few years work saw me go without weekends, bank holidays, public holidays, ‘religious’ holidays. And only at the point of collapse, at the point of complete and utter physical exhaustion – and unfortunately also at the point when I was in charge of dosage quantities for a new test drug on live volunteers, that I realised that I was going to have to find a more even balance between work and rest. 

Indeed ever since ‘the accident’ I look back now with some sense of relief – that those people didn’t give up their lives in vain. Were it not for them I would not have the balance I enjoy so much now in my day to day routine.

So you’re probably asking how does a Scientist and Professor of my esteemed standing go about relaxing. Well the answer is…dance.


I may have the appearance of a bespectacled, rather bookish, though still virulently handsome laboratory type – but I am also something of a dynamite mover! This can be traced back in part to my childhood. Much like the celebrated child retard figure of Billy Elliott I harboured a desire to light up the stages of the world as a prima ballerina. My promising career was cut short early however by my father – a much more practical man who demanded I follow him into the familial tradition of science. (A strange request at the time being that neither family on either side of my parents had ever shown the slightest inclination for the sciences.) Indeed my father’s father was a celebrated theatrical actor and they rarely spoke to each other. If you tried to push my father on the subject he would claim that my grandfather taught at the European Academy of Science in Vienna and had invented gravity.

Of course now in my later years I recognise the folly of my youth – there is no question had I pursued a course into ballet I would, as my father warned, have become a homosexual. And it was only fitting that my childhood dreams be crushed at such a forever mentally scarring early age that I should eventually find my true calling.  

But now in recent years – and far from the ever present shadow of my father – I have discovered the joy once more in throwing yourself round like a loon to a percussive one two beat. After all – all work and no play makes Charles a very lonely boy…


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