I am Scientist


Whilst I have no issue with being one of the foremost scientific authorities in the UK – I do tire somewhat of the constant media attention that someone in my position inevitably attracts. Despite what many may think, the celebrity – which is an obvious by product of my superior brain – was never my ultimate goal. Yes I appreciate that much like the greats of my field, Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein, Johnny Ball it is something we have to bear as testament to our intellect still nonetheless it would seem that I am to have an opinion all things science and science related and am regularly courted by the national press to comment on any latest development in my field.

Maybe people haven’t stopped to consider at times that there might actually be certain areas of science that I really couldn’t give two hoots about. Take for instance social sciences. I’m sorry but to be honest if it doesn’t involve a test tube, laboratory or white coat – I really don’t see how it can be labelled a TRUE science. I see little to be gained in standing around observing the social groupings of various individuals. If it doesn’t fit under a microscope I don’t want to know about it!  I earnt my professorship through hard graft, study and vast amounts of artifical stimulants.

There is also much to be said for real world practical experience, rather than having your head buried in a book twenty-four seven. Hence here at the institute I often tear up students text books if I find them trying to ‘sneak a peek’ during lectures. They are of course then charged for the books replacement.

Now look – I don’t pretend to be better than most. In fact I don’t pretend at all, I simply am. But as of now, Charles Human is closed to questioning of any kind, be it science or otherwise. You’re just going to have to work it out on your own!


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