In the Summertime when the weather is hot…


Like any reasonably sane person I am English. And with that fact subject to the vagaries of the British Weather system. It may not have gone unnoticed by many of my fellow countrymen that over the last few weeks we have been subject to a rather ‘unseasonably’ hot weather streak here in the UK. The sun has been shining, people have flocked to parks and beachsides, even the recent all England club’s annual tennis tournament in Wandsworth was beset with unusually good weather conditions for play (although as ever people seemed to be attracted to the tournaments more vuglar and excessive cousin down the road at SW19 – and as such I claimed victory by default for the fifth year running).

Used to, as we are the more grey and miserable day to day weather that usually bests these fair isles – as ever, we all seemed hopelessly unprepared for the summer warmth. Indeed my housekeeper seemed quite unprepared when she arrived for work one morning to find me making about my business in the nude. After all it doesn’t take a scientist (although of course it did) to reason that with the increase in temperature, the decrease in accompanying clothes would aid in general cooling. This did seem to take some explaining to the local authorities however upon my journey to work later that day.

Still if I was to be shackled in a pair trousers and double breasted shirt and jacket with which to perform my lectures – I was sure as Newton going to do something about it.

I have been tinkering for sometime with a localised weather machine – ever since the freak snow storms we were subjected to earlier this year (and which claimed the life of my former housekeeper as detailed in a former blog). It’s a relatively simple piece of equipment I have installed on the roof of the institute – anyone with a basic understanding of macro-processors, barometric pressure reading, epoxy-polyester coated stainless steel, Cryostor 180 liquid N2 supply vessels and lucky heather – could build one.

I put the machine to it’s first proper test in fact only this last Tuesday. The more cautious amongst you may be surprised to learn that I didn’t bother with any kind of prelinmary testing ahead of it’s activation, but I find all of these ‘safety checks and procedures’ rather tiresome – in the face of mans progression in Science, I don’t think you’ll find Robert Oppenhiemer wasted time ‘testing’ his ‘atomic bomb’ before giving it a go, and look what he achieved!

So I do have to confess the flash floods that beset London on Tuesday afternoon, delivering as reported ‘three months of rain in three hours’ may have had something to do with a few miscalculations on my behalf, I must remember to carry the factor of pi squared AFTER subtracting the power of six over the remainder.  Amateur!


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