There can be only ONE!


With May and June traditionally being exam time – I always find myself somewhat stretched.

I admit to finding it all rather tiresome, the constant demands for ‘teaching’ and ‘ extra tutition’ that my students invariably call for. So for the last few years I have taken to having these two months off as a small sabbatical.

I usually don’t return until exam season has come well to a close. By then I’m just in time for the Summer holidays and another six weeks off. This year I had been brushing up on my paragliding skills in the French Alps.

And of course, I left a clone of myself to carry on with things in my stead and to mask my absence.

However a cursory glance at this blog in the last 24 hours has caused me to call an abrupt end to my holiday and come back to sort this mess out.

I returned home only this afternoon, to find what I counted as 11 Charles Human’s. Some working in my study, others in my private laboratory and the rest using the trampoline in the back garden.

Imagine my shock too, to find my ‘wife’ Meredith was now back, after having been successfully dispatched to a remote corner of the Scottish Highlands. I found her wrapped around another three clones of myself in the master bedroom, an exhausted but sinister look of contentment on her docile face.  

I wish I could say this is a lesson learned about the dangers of cloning, were it not the fact I had made much the same mistake last year. And so once more I find myself working into the early hours corralling all of the clones together, enticed into a pen with the promise of a debate about the obvious inconsistencies with the periodic table and the missing ‘six’ elements .

Looking down into their confused (but slightly pompous) bespectacled faces, I can’t bring myself to put them out of my misery however.

I have thus sent them half way round the world to a remote island in the South Pacific called Isla Nublar – a fellow scientist has been busy cloning prehistoric wildlife in the region too and so will let them run wild amongst the islands other cloned inhabitants.

Hopefully that will be that with this whole ‘clone’ debacle and normal service will be resumed next week.

However I do urge any members of the public reading this – if you see a rather tall, good looking scholar wearing glasses and sporting a full moustache out and about amongst the general populace to contact me immediately. Under no circumstances should you approach this person and ask them a science related question!


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